HI tumblr,
I haven’t written on you in awhile. This may be my last post cuz I’m thinking of getting rid of you. I don’t come on here much so to me it’s another website in my name being a waste of space. Also, I don’t need my name all over the internet.
To catch things up: In the beginning of the year I went back to school. I started my prerequisites for the vet tech program. February, AJ told me he loved me. It caught me by surprise And the bad thing is I didn’t say anything back. I might’ve ended up crying. I can’t remember. Other stuff happened too. Spring hits. I go on spring break. AJ And I’s first year comes along. Its the longest I’ve been in a relationship. I get a job And also get into a car accident. The right side of my car basically peels. I had to get rides for a week. I went to court for the accident And paid the fine.
Ashley moved out. Yays. No more drama in the house. Ajs sister and her husband moved to Hawaii. By now, my classes are doing well except in biology so I get stressed out. Towards the end of April, I lose my job because they hired someone else back on who used to work there. The boss told me they’d keep my app on hold for future hire but we’ll see. I’ve been told that before And never heard back from the place.
In may, school ends for summer. I pass all my classes with a C or better. My summer vacation is almost up because I’m taking summer classes. I go back May 20. I won’t graduate until 2016 now so I wish I made up my mind earlier but I can’t do anything about it. My family is also bound to move in 2016 so hopefully I’ll finish in time.
My 21st bday is coming up in a month. I don’t plan on having a party or anything although my friend wants me to. I just don’t see a point. Anyways all I’ve been doing now is applying to animal jobs and getting interviews but so far no luck. I just gotta keep trying. I’m just spending as much time as I can with AJ before fall hits. I won’t be seeing him much because I’m going to school everyday.
On another note, I want to tell AJ that I love him but I get scared/nervous. When I’m alone I feel happy and have the courage built up to tell him to his face. But when I’m by him I back down. Ugh. I also think it should be special (day) and be done in person. I’m just grr at myself. He said he’d wait but I know he can’t wait forever. The ill wait for u line has been told to me before and yeah. So…my thyroid med is still going down. Its at 88mcg now. I go back in June for a retest. I just want it to be stable again becuz now I have all these different colored thyroid pills in my house. Haha
Well I think this is long enough. Maybe ill write on u another day or maybe not. We’ll see. Bye.

Hmm. After taking the same 125 mcg of my thyroid medicine for about 7 years it has now changed to 112 mcg. weird.

my boyfriend’s so nice. He came to visit me at my house ‘cuz I didn’t feel well. It was sweet of him.

Its a sad month.
-Found out I cant get the job I tried hard for since the company is overbudget.
-co workers dad died.
-been crying a lot cuz of stuff
-boyfriend told me I was hurting him emotionally?
-wrecked my car a little
-I’m overweight
-grandparents health is iiffy
Sigh I feel useless and depressed.

The good things are: I’m not gonna cut myself and my Christmas shopping Is done. At least I can make others happy hopefully.

It sucks. I’ve been trying to get this job at Hope Homes for close to 2 months now. Concentra held my paperwork and wouldn’t send it to my manager. I had turned everything in before October ended. Guess what? My manager got nothing. She finally went down there and they gave it to her around the end of October-November time frame. Now, I’m playing phone tag again. Idk if her co-workers are giving her my messages or not, but I call her every day practically and get nothing back at times. I know she’s busy but still. Someone should at least tell her I called. I was hoping to start this job this month but Idt that’s gonna happen. We’ll see. I sorta feel like she doesn’t want me for this job. Does it take 2-3+ months to get a job in the healthcare field, even if the manager desperately needs people? I think not, but who knows.

At least I’m getting some money for subbing at the schools. I’m so wiped out and hungry after I get off though. The bad thing is that it’s only a 2.5 hour job. I feel lame or something’s wrong with me. My lack of sleep at night probably does contribute to my tiredness after work. Um…other than that I figured out the problem why I wasn’t getting hires with the interviews I had in October. I’m basically considered unemployed to them. I’m also not “selling” myself or highlighting my skills. It’s kind of hard when I haven’t had a job in a year and all I’ve been doing is going to school, babysitting, and sub at the intermediate school. Really, none of the jobs I’ve applied for fit anything with kids. So, Idk what my skills are. Maybe I should apply to jobs that work with kids or something.

On a good note, I’m applying to become a substitute secretary. The principal and secretary and the intermediate school think I’d be good at it. It’ll also help me get more subbing in since the secretaries hardly ever have subs. Anyways, I got chores to do and I think I’m getting hungry. So, bye!

My grandma’s in ICU again. Her heart is not doing to well.

I hit my neighbor’s friends car on accident. My rear bumper is cracked.

Cried in front of AJ on Wed. Didn’t like doing that, but everything’s better now.

Cried again the day before.

Now, I’ve spend about $30 on cards basically. And have to spend about $130 or more on Xmas gifts. I don’t have that much money or a job yet. :(

So…yeah. The only 2 things that are good about this week are, I get to go into my work on Monday possibly to advance my position for my job. Also, my weight dropped due to not eating right but I gained it all back from last night. -.- Dumb buffets…well I blame myself since I can’t so no to dessert/sweets in general. Boo.

You understand what it is to be a cutter.

You understand that it’s not for attention.

You understand that it’s a release.

You understand that the aim isn’t death.

You understand that feeling pain is easier than feeling numb or broken.

You understand that emotions can choke you.

Reblog if you’re not:

disgusted, horrified or look down on cutters…

Reblog if you really, truly, understand.

(Source: Islitmywriststill3am)

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Yes

Where were you last night? Picked up boyfriend from work, stayed there for an hour, then came home and went to bed.

What is today’s date? 10-27-2012

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe? No one. AJ calls me Kittin.

When you’re at the grocery store do you use the self checkout? Depends on the grocery store.

Anyone crushing on you? Sure.

What is your relationship status? In a relationship.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes

Has anyone ever given you roses? Yeah, but just one.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? Nope, I’d die.

Who do you text the most? Aj

How do you make your money? For now, subbing.

First person to text today? AJ

What is your favorite color? blue

What color are your eyes? Brown

What is a compliment you receive often? You’re beautiful or You’re pretty, or Kittin, you’re the best.

How tall are you? 5’1”

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? umm… no one.

Do you like your parents? Yes

Do you secretly like someone? I really like my boyfriend.

Why did your last relationship end? Mutual agreement, Found out later he cheated.

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? no one

Where is the furthest place you’ve traveled? By car: WI or TN Plane: Italy & Greece

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? Sleep

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? Definitely my mom.

How long does it take you to shower? Depends how I feel.

Can you do splits? No.

Are you flexible? A little.

What did you do on New Years Eve? Watch the ball drop, say happy new year, then go to bed. Maybe have a drink if allowed.

Was your mom there? On new years? Yes.

Can you speak any other language than English? Not fluently, but I know a little Spanish & Japanese

What is the last letter of your middle name? H

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Prob a total of 9 but I woke up a lot.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?: Duh.

Are you scared of flying? No

What do you sleep in? PJs.

Who was the last person you kissed? AJ, last night.

Do you like funny people or serious people? Both.

What are you listening to? Nothing

What jewelry do you wear all the time? My class ring and earrings.

What do you have planned for tonight? Saw zombie walk and dance already.

Is the last person you kissed older than you? Yep, by two years and nine days.

Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash? Neither.

Do you have a favorite item of clothing? yes.

Do you like messages or comments better? Messages

Last movie you saw in theaters? Resident Evil 5

Last thing you ate? Apple Pie

What was last thing you drank? Water

Are you happy right now? Kinda

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? Bed.

Who makes you happiest right now? AJ

What were you doing at midnight last night? Texting

Are you left handed? Yes

What was for dinner tonight? Chicken

What is the last thing you thought about? AJ and sleep.

When is your birthday? June 29

Do you want to get married & have children one day? Yes!